TRUST???? I need advice from both men and women?

i'm married to a women that i thought was just everything. One day i was getting rid of some stuff after we moved in our home i found some of her old cell bills.And what i saw was shocking. I saw this same # listede several times,so i did a call and acted like i dailed the wrong # just to see who is was and he told me who he was, and i asked a mutual friend of ours to check it out and come to find out is that she was talking and supposelty see him. I confronted her about this and she just flat out lied about and continued to lie for about 3 months. They talked for 5 months about 900-1000 mins a month. So finally after i stayed on her for the truth se said it was nothing seriuos.. She claimed she never met him ect. I still didn't feel right and finally broke down and told her that i think kthat she was still lying, and then she said i met him only once '; he came by my work'; unannounced, which to me was creepy. Now my problem is i still feel that there was more to it. y did she hide itTRUST???? I need advice from both men and women?
I would say that they possibly did have something going on and may still have. I would sit quietly and let her get comfortable. Do your homework. Show up at home unannounced, gather bills, check credit card statements, follow her, etc.





On the other hand, if you suspect nothing is going on anymore and you want to stay with your wife, I would let it go. Perhaps she has realized she made a mistake and wants to forget about. Like I said though, I would do your homework.





Good luck!TRUST???? I need advice from both men and women?
I think there`s definitely more to it. Lying to avoid the truth which is painful to her now that she`s not talking to him anymore, is easier for her and she hid it from you out if fear of repercussions.
You didn't say if the cell bills were from prior to your marriage or engagement. If they were, you have no control over that. If they weren't, you must decide if you want to trust her or not. It's always a choice.
she was totally wrong for acting that way.


1. no secrets in a relationship-hiding phone bills, meeting other people, etc.


2. she hid it from you because she knew it was WRONG and that she would lose you


3. actions are louder than words
maybe you should stop with the anger and such like and find out what the reason was for her to communicate with this man... some do it because of marriage issues and others because of other problems or needs...





perhaps you should try being more understanding...





she obviously needed something you couldn't provide...





try to find out what that is/was...
She's told you many lies. She's hiding the truth because she's guilty and she knows it.
If you're going to deal with this issue, at least be adult about it. You know exactly why she hid it, so stop acting so surprised. Either you're going to get over this and get on with the marriage, or you're going to drag your wife through the mud and destroy any chance of salvaging your relationship with her.





Before you discovered this information, you were a happy man. Accept your wife's word, when she says it was nothing serious and move on. Nothing can be gained from prolonging the agony.
WOW...go to therapy and if they think you 2 have a chance fine BUT she is a liar...how can you live with a liar...she has made a fool out of you and you are not happy...find someone who will make you happy that you can trust...trust is the most important thing in a relationship! And usually once a liar always a liar..like one a cheat always a cheat........and iof you doupt something..do not do it..it is God telling you no....
Been there, done that.Trust?? Buddy this is a HONESTY issue,not to mention trust as well. She's still lying to you. In fact I'd venture to say that she doesn't even care how you feel. Get an divorce attorney and let the two ';players'; have each other. It's only a matter of time before they'll start cheating on each other. Try to find someone that doesn't have so many honesty issues. I know it HURTS. Unfortunately she deems you unworthy of an honest answer. Find someone who actually cares about you and loves you. Good luck...
she hid it because she knows it's wrong to have an affair
You can't keep harping on it, you know she called and seen this man. What you have to decide now is well you ever be able to trust her again and do you still want to be married to a cheater.
There is no short answer here, unfortunately. But I can tell you a marriage that is perfect, isn't perfect at all. It's human nature to be interested in other people, in a natural sense we are creatures driven by sex. In other ways we are driven by the environment we were raised in and we are molded by the surroundings and people we live and associate with. When we get married, we have to learn how to be married. Too many people think when you get married that married life is just an extension of single life.


Being married is about the love between two people. For me, love is about honesty, loyalty, trust, faithfulness, and so on. All those words by definition and indeed the actions surrounding those words are what love is to me. Honesty, for instance is one word involved with love and marriage most people don't truly understand. We all think we know that honesty is always telling the truth, when asked or when a situation arises to take back the $10 change a store clerk gave us, when we should have only gotten $5. Although that is a good example of honesty, it's not the true honesty of a marriage.


The honesty of a marriage is sharing with your spouse who you really are. Exposing your fears and showing them your worst. For instance, imagine that your wife was always in the company of men, predominantly in social situations rather than women. That might mean she feels more comfortable around men because she had a great relationship with her father and not her mother. She should identify that to herself and you. So sometimes it's not all that easy to identify why we behave the way we do, but there are reasons. And that's why it is important to have good communications in any relationship, especially marriage. By doing so, we can talk out everything and learn about each other and help each other and grow together.


I can tell you, first hand, if she is hiding something about that man, she does care about you, because if she didn't care, she would simply tell you everything to maybe hurt you, but she is hiding it. Also, she knows it鈥檚 wrong and she knows where she belongs, I suggest you work with her, but don't beat around the bush. Make her understand how you are feeling about this and make her commit to you and promise to stay away from this guy or any guy in the future. You might consider also talking to her to understand why she thought it was important to have contact or be a part of the relationship she had with this other guy. Is there something missing in her life, something she needs from you, a parent or some fulfillment she isn't getting, and just maybe you can help her with that.


There is a site called www.marriagebuilders.com and in it you can find invaluable information about married and relationships. Some you may have to pay for, but there is a lot of good free information there. Check it out.


A marriage can come back from affairs and sometimes, when both people are committed and honest and open, the marriage can actually come back stronger and more purposeful than before.
She's not being honest with you for whatever reason, but trust is a major factor in any relationship. Why she chooses to have an outside life is beyond me. Consequently, she'll probably never tell you the truth and that's unfortunate. The only concern that I have is what else is she not being honest about? I would sit down with a mediator and try to get to the bottom of this, because several thoughts are probably running rampant in your head right now. Your attempts to get the truth were in vain as she is now stumbling over her words. I don't really know what to tell you other than trust has been broken. What I might do if I were in a similar situation? I don't really know, but if the truth manages to surface one day, I pray that the two of you can work out the problem. If not, seek out a marriage counselor. Good luck.
Oh my gosh..I am so sorry she did this to you. It is very hurtful when a mate does this. You and her need to sit down and really talk things through and find out why she did this and she needs to be honest with you . It will take along time if ever if you will trust her again. After your talk you will need to be true to yourself as to rather you stay with her. Sounds like she has got some growing up to do but also some people LOVE the drama they can cause. Good luck because it's not easy sorting this out.
If it took that long for her to come out with what she has;it seems to me that there may be more skeletons in her closet. How long have you been married? Where did she meet this guy? I need more specifics. Pls add more.
Boss... i wud seriously suggest u not to trust her... thats it. no hide n seek in love.... dont get in to break up.. but give her a serious warning.... which is definately serious.. n if she continues.. she is then not ur cup of tea... jst forget her... Life is not going to stop... Finally everything happens for the best...
I have had a problem recently w/ people lying to me. The worst thing you can do to me or anyone (I think) is lie to their face. What I did is I told him that if he didn't tell me the truth then I could not be his friend anymore, cause I'm not friends w/ people that I can't trust. Nobody should be in a relationship w/ somebody who they can't trust. You should tell her, first of all to listen to all that you have to say before she says anything (so she doesn't lie again before you tell her what you proposition is), then tell her this is her last chance and you want to know the whole truth, tell her that you will be less mad at her and your relationship might can be saved if she tells you the truth, then say again this is her last chance and she had better tell you the whole truth now or your relationship will be over no matter what. You need to find out the truth because then you will know what to do about it. GOOD LUCK!!!
This is the problem with cell phones and text messages. people are just to available. My ex did something similiar and a freind is going through the same. Point here is though why all the hiding and lying. In hindsight, I dont believe my ex was having a sexual affair, but what she was doing was still wrong and was a factor in our split. You have to decide for yourself if you can forgive and trust again.
Its natural to hide something when confronted. Most people don't know how to handle that. I would ask her to set aside a time, make an appointment, to talk with you. Then make it an ';easy'; honest conversation. Tell her that in order for you to both get past this she HAS to be honest. You cannot feel like she is holding back at all. You have to keep your ';cool'; during this so she feels safe telling you what happened. When all is said and done you both need to ask ';where do we go from here?'; I wish you all the best.
She's probably lying because she's hiding something..It seems like you need to let her know you want the truth...If she doesn't tell you then leave her..It seems she doesn't appreciate you and she's taking you for granted...You want to be with someone who loves you and that you can trust...So communicate see what's going on and what's missing...if things keep on going the same then you know what you need to do....
Bottom line.....This is going to cause problems until she comes clean.....
You caught her in lies several times....We lie when we know what we did was wrong.....There's more to it and you know it....
Everyone has a past. Why are you making such a big deal over an old cell phone bill. Who did she murder that you are putting her under the spot light with the questioning. If you are now living together then start your life look ahead not backwards.