I need advice, What should a woman be? A mother? How do we be superwomen? What is a magnificant women like?

I need HELP!!!! I am 20, a mother of a 18 month old. I dont have anything together yet. Before I got pregnant, I was a wild child, I partied, I drank like a man, I hung out w/ guys all the time, I had a rough child hood, my mom got abused by her boyfriends. I dont know what normal is, actually I was so worried about not being like that to my son I went drastically opposite, I didn't work, I wouldn't leave him alone. I am now working, I am driving, I am about to take my ged next week, things are turning around and I AM TRYING!!!!! I am staying w/ my sons grandmother (his fathers mom) and she is a magnificant woman, never has to rely on ANYONE! NO man no one, and she is very stuck up as well. She tells me everything that is wrong w/ me everyday. Today I am self centered, I asked how she said there are little things. I haven't gone out since the day I found out I was pregnant, I dont have any friends, I work and take care of my son, I will spend every last tiny dime I make on him.


I dont understand,she says I have a lot of growing up to do, I'm not a woman yet, I am so confused. HOW am I suppose to be, How can I grow to be a magnificant person? I am wondering what are the charecteristics of a super woman? See I have been pushed around a lot in my life, so I dont know if I am being nice or passive anymore, I dont know if I am being a *****, or assertive. How do Know what kind of person Is a respectable one? Please as much details of what A great mom, woman is.I need advice, What should a woman be? A mother? How do we be superwomen? What is a magnificant women like?
For one thing, a ';magnificent woman'; never criticizes anyone in a hurtful manner or goes out of her way to make anyone feel bad about themselves or tells them what their faults are every day. The TRUE characteristics of a magnificent woman are kindness, first and foremost, love, sympathy and empathy and the ability to love someone before themselves, esp their children. What you describe re your son's grandmother is NOT an example of a magnificent woman or a role model for anyone to aspire to, she is cold judgmental and arrogant.I need advice, What should a woman be? A mother? How do we be superwomen? What is a magnificant women like?
You really don't want to be a superwoman. Just be a good mother, do the right thing, not necessarily the easiest thing, put your child first, but don't neglect yourself, get out of that woman's house before she beats you down to the point you can't get out. Take her good advice but if you have doubts, make your own decisions. Make your own way and be proud of what you accomplish. Take things one step at a time and be responsible. Don't revert back to the wild child ways and stay away from people that might tempt you. Forget about being supermom or superwoman and just be yourself.





You do have a lot of growing up to do, but we all continue to grow throughout all phases of our life. We make mistakes with our children, our personal lives, our finances, but growing up means we learn from and don't repeat those same mistakes twice. You've got time on your side and I think the simple fact that you care enough to ask how to be a respectable person is a good indication you already are a respectable person and just need to trust your own instincts a little more. Good luck and I hope you can apply at least a little of what I've said to your situation.
You have a lot of questions...it's not uncommon for people who have grown up in abusive and/or neglectful situations to wonder what is ';normal'; or even ';good.'; I personally believe everyone is born with an instictive knowledge of what is right and wrong. People who choose to do wrong things are making a choice. They know what is the right thing, but they choose the wrong thing because it gives them pleasure, whether carnal, fiscal, or even emotional. You have seen and experienced what is the wrong way to live, and now you are turning your life around. You are pursuing your education, you are caring for (and more importantly, loving) your son, you are working to provide for yourself and your child as best you can. I think one of the major problems you are having centers on the baby's grandmother who you describe as a ';magnificent'; woman, who ';never has to rely on anyone.'; Being ';magnificent'; has nothing to do with being self sufficient, and I am assuming you mean she does not have a husband or any other man in her life and that she is financially solvent. Honey, there is way more to life than that. Finding a good man and husband is a blessing that I hope you will experience. Not all men are losers who run from responsibility. Keep in mind that she raised this son, the father of your child, and where, by the way, is he? Why isn't he helping to support the child? She calls you ';self-centered,'; when quite obviously it is her son who is shirking responsibility. To get back to answering your questions more directly, there is no such thing as a ';superwoman,'; except in comic books, and you, in my opinion, are well on your way to becoming a ';magnificent'; woman. Just keep trying, but also don't shut yourself away from the world. You do need friends (and hopefully later, the right man) to share your life with. Keep your eyes and heart open for the right ones, and I wish you the best.
There's no such thing as a ';Superwoman';. And people who seem to be are usually very unhappy, insecure people who only behave that way because they're afraid to be themselves.





You don't have to be perfect, and you can't be. No one can. You just have to do the best you can at whatever you choose to do in life, and ignore the people who tell you you're not good enough.
do you know what a great mom is??


YOU,you sound like an awesome mother, you stopped parting,your working you spend time with your son,everyone has a lot of growing up to do at 20 but you sound like you have grown up alot. keep doing what your doing, part of being a strong woman and mother is knowing what you have to do and doing it, and not letting anyone knock you down. don't let her knock you down your doing a great job.!