What advice would you give to a woman about to start a divorce?

This is for everyone who has been through a divorce.


I am going to court to file for divorce this week.I need all the help and advice i can get.Thanks.What advice would you give to a woman about to start a divorce?
Be firm but fair, especially if there are children. Expect the worst from him but hope for the best. Don't beat yourself up. He who is without sin....Get into counseling or self help books or anything that will help you discover what happened, how much of it was your responsibility and learn your lesson of how to not repeat the same mistake again. Do not be desperate for another relationship. Take time to chill with yourself. Learn about yourself and learn to love yourself, which is hard to do when you go thru this sort of thing. Don't give up on the idea of marriage and love. Cry, if you need to. If you just want to. When you are dividing things up, ask yourself what things are really worth the energy fighting about. Most things are not. Most of the things you will fight about are replaceable. Children are not. Never give up the fight for your kids if you think you are the best choice for them. And never use the kids as weapons. Your kids will know and it will come back to bite you later. Hang in there. Unfortunately, you don't really know who you married until you divorce them.What advice would you give to a woman about to start a divorce?
Before you go make sure it over as he might make you feel bad and try to change your mind%26gt;See a attorney if there are children%26gt; Property%26gt; And if it's going to be contested%26gt; Take a friend for support%26gt; Good luck almost single again%26gt; What a fresh breath of air%26gt;S%26amp;H
Get EVERYTHING! And never let anyone tell you that if you live in a 50-50 state that you can't do that. I'm living proof that you can.
Walk away with no regrets. You do not want to be 5 years down the road thinking'; I just wish we had tried this,or said this'; Take time for yourself. Do not rush into another relationship, no matter how bad you may want to. You need time for you, to make you happy. That is the only way you will ever be able to find happiness. And give yourself time to grieve. No matter if you feel relieved or whatever, this is still a loss and you need to treat it as such. Do not push it away like it is no big deal. Let yourself feel whatever it is you need to feel. Then you can learn from it all and move on.
Go to the court house and file the papers yourself , and prevent any more liquidation of your life. The judge will make the decisions and the lawyers bill wont be a factor afterwords.





You can file all the papers yourself at your county clerk of court.


Separation (to stop money liabilities) Divorce, It may cost a fee , but there wont be a lawyer bill tacked on.





Believe it or not it's simple. Although some make more complicated on themselves and both end up getting less.


The courts don't care, just pay the fee(s).





The judge is not going to keep a marriage together if 1 dose not want to be there.
Being on the other side , the husband seeking a divorce. Remember you are not alone. Many people travel this journey every day. Be careful of those that may take advantage of your vulnerability. Being informed and taking time to make your decisions that are right for you is all that matters at this time. Trust your gut feelings 99% of the time they'll be right on. Good luck.


P.S.


Divorce is painful and you will get through it
I hope you didn't get divorced because he was cheating. I'm alive 45 years and I have never met a man that doesn't cheat and the next guy you meet will cheat on you too or worse. My adivce. NEVER EVER NEVER EVER GET MARRIED AGAIN!!!
Be fair. Which may be very hard to do, if you've been badly hurt. Or..you want revenge.


Keep focused on what it is you truly want. Out of the marriage.


It is an extremely emotional ordeal, but please, dont let your emotions get the better of you.


If you can, treat it almost as a business transaction...where you keep a level head.


Things can be said and done, which can totally complicate everything, and drag it on longer than necessary.


Its not about 'what you can get...or get everything'. Its about what you want to walk away with....emotionally.


A divorce can become, worse than the actual marriage, or the situation that brought you to seek a divorce, if you dont keep focused.


Dont lose yourself in the fight for material goods.


And dont let it overwhelm your life. It may be and end to something...but it is also a beginning. Good luck hun.
Take a long look at your part of the marital problems and make certain you've done everything in your power to make it work. That way, you can do this with no regrets or guilt.
be strong, love yourself and FOLLOW THRU! there must be a good reason 4 this; good luck and luv, andra
Your on the way for celebration. Stand still and smile.And don't forget your saving $ %26amp;your own stuffs.
Make sure you are doing it for yourself and not for all the wrong reasons. Take time to sit back and think it through..and whether you can salvage what you once had. If you can't, then make sure you have your ducks in a row. Make sure you have a place to stay if necessary. That you can pay your own bills...and support yourself.





Don't go for everything, its greedy and you will start to regret it when karma comes calling later on...and believe me, it will.. Women complain about why men are so against marriage, this is why. They know that they have a great chance of losing everything that they worked hard to acquire.
Once you have made your decision, keep moving forward.


If there was abuse (of any kind) in your marriage, it is over. It does not get better.





I did my own divorce, after 27 years of marriage. My kids were grown, but the youngest was 15, at the time. We had nothing, so nothing from nothing leaves nothing! He never showed up in court (typical... I did it all by myself!), and you can too. Are you doing it yourself (hope you don't have to have a lawyer, more money down the drain).


It's pretty simple unless you have to get involved with child support and division of property, then you could probably get some legal advice. I'm just stabbing in the dark now, because I don't know what your situation is. So, all I can say is hang in there and have a better life.