Women only!! I need some advice! I know that this is long but PLEASE READ IT ALL!!?

I was engaged to A man when I was 19 he raiped me and I got pregnant! So I took him back ( I know I'm an idiot)!!!!!


Well ofter A difficult pregnancy I had A little girl! Other then her eyes she looks like me (but well I will come back to this later).


Some of my family called and made A number of false complaints against me and my EX fiance and my little girl was taken away before she was even three months old! After just two court days all the charges were draped against me but it took over two years for me to get her back! ( To the dismay of half of my family.) She is now almost 5 and is acting like her father how she has not seen since she was taken away!!! That half of the family still wants me to give her up or give her to my mom! The other half tell me to hang in there but offer no help other wise! Now do to medical problems I can not work and her dad will not help unless he can see her but the court ordered him not to see her as the mental evaluation on him found him to be well lets just say less then fit to be around any kids under 12 years old!


My little girl tells me on A daily bases that she hates me and wishes that I would leave and never come back so that she could live with my mom! How I am now forest to live with as I have no other options right now! I feel as though I am more of A burden then any thing else and given the length of time she was A way we did not really have the chance to bond!


I KNOW I AM A HOEABLE MOM FOR EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT BUT! I can't help but wander if I should at least temporary give my mom custody of her until I get better! Then again if I do I would have to move out of state to have another place to go!


I am 24 now and it is not like I am wanting to do so to be able to go out and do what ever but I am just so torn!


And yes I have been diagnosed with depression but all the meds that I have been put on make me have panic attacks!


So I need some help Should I move out or can you tell me if you have had any luck with some antidepressants or something or if you know if there are any places that might can help I do not like living here! For many reasons that I would rather not say short of my mom and I do not have the best relation ship do to past events! I do want to be A good mom but I do not feel like I can be right now!! Again I know that I am A not the best mom but at least I am still here trying to do what little I can but that is not much if I could I would do more but I just can't right now! Believe me I am ashamed of my self already! So please do not give me any grief please that is not what I need right now!Women only!! I need some advice! I know that this is long but PLEASE READ IT ALL!!?
Sweetie, my advice to you is to first of all.. get a grip. Stop thinking you are so terrible. Everyone makes mistakes and no on is perfect. You need to have faith in yourself. There are so many things out there that you have not experienced yet. I am a single mom with Lupus and I cannot work either. It is very hard, but everyday things get better and every thing I teach my daughter give me a sense of accompishment as well.





Secondly, you cannot take the mean things that your daughter is saying to heart. You are the mom and you have to take control over that roll as a mother. She does not realize it yet, but she actually wants that from you. You have to remember that you are that child's mother. Your mother is not the best mother for her. You are! Don't let anyone tell you different.





Third and lastly, I strongly suggest you starting back in school. No one can take your education from you and it's never too late.





I know that all the advice I have given you may seem impossible for you, but I promise you that it's not. If I can do all these things, so can you. Good luck and I will pray for you. Remember.. take things one step at a time! You can do this!Women only!! I need some advice! I know that this is long but PLEASE READ IT ALL!!?
You say you do not get along with your mom then can you trust her with your little girl!?


If so and if it is possible for your mom to take care of her then maybe you should give her temporary partial custody of her!


Then focus on getting better and as soon as you can take your little girl some ware that it is just the two of you again once you get better! Then she will not have your mom there all the time to compare you to it will just be you and her and as for the half of your family forget them they clearly do not have ether of you in there hart or they could never say that to you they should be the ones that are ashamed not you!!!


Also go online and see if there is not some type of facility that can help you to get better and maybe even let you live there so you might not have to move to A norther state! Do you not have any friends that you could stay with for A little while?


If you need some one to talk to further that will not charge you feel free to Email me I will try to help if I can!


Just don't give up on your self or your little girl!!
okay im really sorry to hear you've been through this ( im not just saying this to get points i generally feel for you as i know about people who sufferer from depression as my mum has it, we have also had a bit of a rubbish life too and depression just makes every thing seem 100 times worst) you need to talk about this to someone who know wtheirther talking about or just someone to listen to you like ur doctor or someone as this will help with your depression so you can get off what eworriesrrys that are on your chest.


now with your daughter i woadvisesises you to give her to your mother if you know your mums capable of looking after her, this will also give you and your daughter space to get things sorted. you are not a bad mother doingdoin this, your be a great mother if you think this is the best thing for your daughter, also if you give her to your mum, you would be making the other side of your family happy and hopefully there help you out a bit more. they probs just want whats best for you and they see giving your daughter to ymotherther for a bit is the best option right now. hope this help and i really hope you sort things out and it gets better for you.
OK- so, even you don't think you're a fit mom, you don't work, and you didn't finish school (I'm guessing that because of your poor spelling.) You say your own daughter doesn't want to live with you- so here is my advice.





Give custody to your mother (or at least guardianship) on the condition that you get supervised visitation- then go back to school, or get your GED, get a job, do what you have to do with a therapist and medications and get yourself straightened out. THEN once YOU are fit to be a mom, and only then, talk to your mother about your daughter's living arrangements. It is not fair for your daughter to essentially be stuck with you right now, you're going to mess her up for life at this point.





OH AND PS, DROP THE LOSER, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TAKE BACK A RAPIST?? If he raped you, what's to stop him from raping your daughter??
She is 5 years old and you have some mental problems your not coping well with Your X has basically abused you and will probably abuse her if he gets the chance. Your daughter reminds you of your X and you have ill feelings for him but want to love bond with her but she is a little being right now and is going to rebel and you have no control of that. Your mother is offering you the opportunity to get back on track and raise your daughter for you showing her the same love and affection she showed you. You don't have to give up custody to your mom you can accept her hand out to you and give her guardianship over your daughter and her medical needs, so this way you aren't throwing her away your just accepting help from Mom.





It is a tough decision but in the child's best interest Mom can't be strong right now and you have support for her and you just have to get you back. Good luck and sorry it has been so tough but No meds, no counseling, nothing can help you if you don't want to grow past this. And I have faith that in 3-6 years you will be able to be mom again not the mom you originally wanted but a different mom, live life and love it, it is the only one you get.
I think you should sit down and talk to your mom. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of. Is your mom on your side with you and everything? I think you should talk to her and see if she could help you out and take care of your daughter until you got your feet on the ground. Explain to your mother that you want to be a good mother to your daughter and give her a good life and right now you can't and that you need your mom's help. That you want to fix yourself and get your life back on track so that you can be the best mother to your daughter. Tell your mom you will give her some money to help pay for the costs of taking care of her etc. And I HIGHLY suggest getting your daughter in some sort of counselling. She has been through a lot and is already showing the signs of it at an early age. If you don't it is only going to get worse as the years go on.





Good Luck and whatever you do, DONT give up!