Husband is acting up, need advice from men mostly, and women too?

My husband and i have been together since we were 17 and now were 24. he is in the military and his buddies ofcourse most of them are bachelors. my husband and i are having problems and he acts like a bachelor when its convienient for him and acts like my man when its convinient for him also. we are seprated but when he is around me alone we had a pretty good time. however i have had enough of it and am really close to just pack my bags and leave for im tired of not being treated as his wife. we still live with each other becuase we just bought a house and becuase of the economy just cant sell yet. we still sleep in the same bed but i dont feel right anymore. i dont pay attention to him anymore, i really dont. when i dont pay attention to him he gets cranky and upset and even accused me on cheating on him. I actually thought that was hilarious becuase it makes me wonder whats going on in his mind. but when i do pay attention to him he gets i guess a bit comfortable andsays im being clingy....hello im your wife you *** married for 4 years!!!! i love him but i love me more. one minute he says he does not love me like he used to,the next he says he does and then he says he does not and blah blah blah. i have one more year left to graduate from college and if things dont change by then my *** is out. but i really would like a mens perspective on this whole situation. why do u think he is going through this? Husband is acting up, need advice from men mostly, and women too?
He has lost interest , but doesn't want to lose his sense of security. He knows he still has you when its convenient to him. I too, just went thru this, I'm sad to say I did this, but as was said by my girlfriend . it wasn't fair to her. I agreed, but am sad that I came to this. I hope things can change in your situation, But sounds a bit common.Husband is acting up, need advice from men mostly, and women too?
as you've bin together along time and between the ages of 17 - 24 you do a lot of growing up so this might just be part of the growing up and the changes hes growing through. you've bin together along time and so you can obviously not imagine life with out each other so it must be hard. just try to stay positive be nice to him and show him affection but give him space when he starts to nag.
You got married way to young. It seems that he cares about you but he is not ready to be tied down yet.
I was in the military also. I knew a lot of people who had marriage problems and it was usually the younger couples. A lot of it can do with his friends. Men in the military like to live it up. It sounds like he is having conflicting feelings and needs to decide if he wants to be the man that comes home to his wife every night or the man who hangs out with his friends every night. In the ideal world he could find a way to balance the 2. But it doesn't sound like he is ready to do that. So i guess what it comes down to is you making the choice for him. I won't say what that choice should or shouldn't be. But I will say to take a step back and look at the whole situation and what you are getting out of the relationship. See if there is maybe some way that you can help him. Do you get mad if he goes out with his friends on occasion? Does he go out way to much? There are too many scenarios. Just ask yourself ';Is this what I want?';. Anyway i kind of babbled a bit hope it helped.
I think he needs some time to really evaluate his life.


you really need to see a marriage counsellor. the Military usually have them available and even talk with the chaplain will help you out.


he needs to grow up and face the responsibilities of a husband and a man.


yes he can have his bachelor buddies and pal around and bring them home to do stuff but ultimately, you are married and you have a duty to your spouse.


do you guys ever get together with the other married military families, you need to and get together for emotional support just like this.
That's tough, sorry to say. In short, I do not know why you are still living together. I take it he is your first real love and it is probably hard to leave that. You never do forget your first love. He is probably acting bachelorish because he is a guy and is going with the flow of his friends. If he is accusing you of cheating it is probably because he does not have real trust in you. I would try to just talk, like a good long talk. you say you are separated but still use the terms wife and husband, maybe that is holding you back.
Well, the first problem is that in a marriage... you should always love your husband above yourself if you want it to work. BUT... it works both ways. You also deserve respect. My suggestion is to get marriage counseling. It sounds cliche but it works for many couples because men tend to listen to an outsiders unbiased opinion. Hopefully he'll snap out of it and be the husband you need him to be. Best of luck.
I know this is hard , but , dump him . Start a new life . You got married too young .
sounds like he wants to move on or already is cheating or thinking about it. or got with you too young and wants a change.
I am a woman and I have this same exact problem. My husband acts like he does not want to be around me then the next he wants to be around me. He also says ';we should get a divorce';. Then he acts like he does not want a divorce the next minute. I have 2 more years of college and if HE does not change, then he knows what is up. Some men just don't deserve good women. Every woman deserves a good man. If he does not change just leave and find someone who loves and appreciates you 24/7 365 days a year.
I AM AN OLDER WOMAN


My first husband would get drunk and beat me up.


My second husband was a lot like your husband


I caught him in bed with a lady who's Children I was baby setting that day when I brought the children home.


The Love of my Life (and third husband ) died in 2002.


Life is much too short -find every (legal ) way to make him leave .


He needs to grow up emotionally


May be he will some day-but he will take you down until then.
f - him.
Seems normal life of marriage to me. Even you get out from that marriage and jump on the other, will always be the same, problem will arise. don't think that because you got married early that's why you are having this kind of problem, even those people who got married late in their life also experience what you are experiencing now, there's no prefect in our lives but it's up to us to make it wonderful.
Stick it out. Hang in there and instead of being clingy begin to find other positive interest such as, helping someone in need, go to school, start a business, etc and pray. Find a good church that have a great women's ministry and learn. Don't give up on your marriage.
well have you recently did something to bug him, well the only reason i can think of is cheating but don't take my word I've been wrong before try and talk have a romantic night if you know what I mean.
sounds like he's just been hanging around the wrong kind of people. He needs to be around married couples like you guys and not immature bachelors.
the military can do a number on your head.......


give it a year...you two are tied together because of the house anyway





don't get pregnant....try communicating in writing....you don't get interrupted, and you can edit yourself to a point.......





after a year if it's still the same, pack you stuff and leave.......
Since you asked for a man's perspective -- from my perspective your husband is still a kid. Twenty-four is awfully young, it really is. The question is, will he grow up some or will you realize you need somebody smarter, more mature, and somebody that doesn't vacillate between ';I love you I love you not.'; As the song goes, ';first you love me then you hate me, that's a game for fools.'; Definitely finish college and remember, financial independence is your ticket to freedom.





So, to reiterate, he's going through this because he's still growing. Heck, when he hits 40 he'll be crawling on his hands and knees begging for a good woman to love and take care of him. For someone that cares enough to buy him some Prilosec for his ulcer, lol.
its simple ... He is cheating and feels uncomfortable about it .


he feels if he can get you mad. then he will feel better about it .


on the other hand , maybe he is just jealous of his buddies and wants to be a bachelor again %26gt;



All I can say is wait and see what happens, don't get pregnant in the meantime. Men take a LONG time to mature and at 24 he's still a child, my husband is 28 and I still think he acts like a child.
he keeping you around for the bootie. leave him.
Manopause.





Seriously.





Also, men in the military tend to have a much later life development. You can expect him to act like a juvenile until he's around 32, or gets out of the military.





Sad but true.
Honestly, I think you two met when you were really young and he probably never got to sew some of his wild oats. Unfortunately the years from 16-25 are those when people change the most. Over the years you two have probably just grown apart because you've both changed.





As for wanting and then not wanting attention, it's just a game. When men have the attention, they don't want it. When don't have it, they yern for it. as for him questing you about cheating, be skeptical about him because men and women normally question that stuff when a) they've done it or b) they are thinking about doing it or 3) you've cheated on them in the past and they know about it.





Good luck though, only time will tell if things will get better or worse.
I think you guys got married to young and now as a result seems like he has lost interest. I would leave him before it gets ugly and cheating does come in to play if it hasn't already on his part.