I need some advice please... This is for women and men both.?

Ok here we go. Me and my ex have been apart for 7 months. We lived together for 3 years. She left and moved back home in another state. She took my van and I just let her take it thinking she buy it off me (no money yet). We have not really talked much in these 7 months. Well now all of a sudden she wants to come back and get the rest of her belongings and give me the van back after 7 months of wear and tear. We Were Never Married and by law I owe her nothing. She expect to just walk in and pick out what she wants. I think she has bumped her head.I have mixed feelings about what to do (pissed/hurt). I just don't get it. Can I get some advise to do please? I don't want to be the bad guy here.I need some advice please... This is for women and men both.?
If you don't want to be the bad guy then don't. First thing you need to do is ask her what it is that she wants to get. Then compromise with her on what you are willing to give her. My guess is that most of the things belong to the two of you so you really do need to share with her. Reason with her on a few of the things like the big items, how is she going to get them to another state and be clear on what items you truly believe are yours alone and what is her's alone. She has a right to her things but remember, she is the one who left so don't let her rob you blind. As for the van, 7 months isn't really that long. And besides, she probably isn't going to give you any money for it anyway. I would have all this worked out before she comes so that you can have her stuff ready for her so she can come in and get out without lingering around.


RedI need some advice please... This is for women and men both.?
Only allow her to take the things that are hers and the things you can agree on. As for the van, unless she agrees to buy it from you, either take it back or let her have it. Because you were never married, there really is no legal recourse, unless of course she takes something that you bought and you still have receipts for. Good luck...very tough situation.
Hm, tough one. If what she wants to get are the things she purchased with her money, they she should be able to get them. Things purchased together should be negotiated. Like if bed costs $500 and she wants it, then she should pay you $250. And regarding the van, I believe it's fair she pays you for the use, since it's yours and you did not gift it to her.





My advise is if you want your car back, don't discuss anything until she comes over and brings back the car.
You may have to be the bad guy here to get just compensation for your van. I would make her communicate with you by saying something along the lines of: ';Let's discuss terms for the use of my van';. If she refuses, you may have to report to the police that she stole it. I would not give her a hard time about leaving. Just remember this lesson next time you find yourself falling for another woman.
Let her take the things she wants. Who cares about the material things? It could have been a lot worse if she hired an atty and then forcing you to hire one. Get the picture?





Let her leave the van, and take what she wants and be done with it .
Try to agree on what items are hers before she shows up to get them. Unless she has done some damage to the Van beyond normal wear and tear, you will probably be better off not to fight about it and just take it back.
that bad of her.leave her to get her things and if you can give her the van along that will be cool.live on with your life, good girl will come into your life soonest.one day shhhhhhhhe will regret all she have done to you.
Give her what is hers that she paid for. If you bought it together and she wants it have her pay your half back. As for the car unless you made the payments kiss that off. Good luck
the only reason you would make a fuss is cuz you still aren't sure it's over. clearly she is. don't make it worse, you'll just resent her for it later. cut your losses and move on
Pack up what you know is hers, I agree with asking for what items she is looking for. Try to streamline it.
i get what ur saying, kinda sucks, but u let her take the van, and u really cant stop her from getting the rest of her things, lesson learned hopefully..gl
You have yet to be the bad guy here. In fact you have been way too nice. Why did you guys seperate?
Let her take only the things she purchased.
I'm going to ditto Tanner completely!
Talk to a lawyer fast. You need to find out what your legal rights are.
dont give her anythin !!! did u cheat on her ? i mean was it ur fault that u guys broke up? or did she played u? if itz her fault lol dont give her anythinnnnnn sent her back
I wouldn't worry about being the bad guy on this one - sounds to me she became that when she took your van! If you want the van back, let her come and swap it for her stuff - if you don't, I wouldn't let her come and pick and chose.





You're obviously hurt and there's nothing long with a little ';revenge'; by digging your heels in. You'll feel better and to be fair, she has left it a whole seven months so she can't want her stuff that bad can she?
Let her have the things that belong to her. And be happy that you are getting the van back. And just let it go, don't do anything. Just be mature and let her get what belongs to her and her only.





If I were you, I would ask her BEFORE she comes, what items she's wanting. Then if they are truly her items, just have them ready for her when she gets there. Don't allow her to come into your home and go through your things and take what she wants.





She moved out, she no longer lives there.
If you lived together for 3 years, she probably couldn't load all her stuff into the van when she moved out. You probably also have stuff you bought together, and will have to decide who gets what, just as if you were married. Hopefully, neither one of you will use those things to make matters worse by fighting over them. Many people do that out of spite and it is hurtful and childish. If you have things that belong to her, you should give them back to her. Doesn't sound like you have a contract to sell the van to her, and she is returning it. She should offer to pay for 7 mos. wear and tear. If she has caused excessive wear and tear, you could expect her to pay you for that.





I hope you don't end up in Judge Joe Brown's courtroom over this. It probably isn't worth it. Good luck.
well... first explain why exactly she cannot just go in and get her stuff and leave??? Your not together, theres no hope of you getting back together... she left and now 7 months later she wants to get ';her'; stuff... whats the problem?





Just give her her stuff and take your van back... tit for tat here... don't try to pick a fight now... come on... just be done with it, let her get her stuff and move on with your life.





i think your pride is hurt right now, you probably gave her the van because you knew you could use it against her later on. Such as you knew you could get a hold of her because of your ';van';... this is petty. just move on with your life.