I need some advice from you older women who have been through what im going through?

my boyfriend of 5 years, we have a baby together. i can honestly say we have a great relationship. we hardly fight, we talk alot, and weve grown together. on the other hand. it seems like he gets depressed? every so often he will be distant and wont tell me whats wrong, he talks down to me and doesnt answer his phone. and that will last a few weeks, then when he gets back to normal he doesnt tell me what caused it. it seems that when i finally get fed up of how he treats me and i start to act distant when it really hurts me to do that, thats when he is loving again until his next depressed episode. is this normal for a couple? i tell him everyday what i love about him and how much i appreciate him and my dreams of us when we are old. am i too loving to him?I need some advice from you older women who have been through what im going through?
no, youre not too loving-unless youre smothering him. my suggestion is this-when he's ';normal'; ask wazzup when he gets like that. if hes got no answer, tell him how he hurts you, etc. when he goes off the deep end. u might wanna also suggest a doctor visit.....I need some advice from you older women who have been through what im going through?
He loves his child but he is begining to realise there is more to life and he is day- dreaming, or is guilty about something. Getting in his face trying to smother him or barrage him with questions will only drive him away eventually. He gets depressed for a reason. I can tell you that. Maybe he feels controlled %26amp; manipulated but would rather not confront you..


Let him go, he hasn't married you anyway.
Maybe he just gets stressed. If this happens regularly, you should know why it's happening. I do think it's strange that he won't fill you in on what is stressing him...maybe it is depression. I don't know much about that, but I would start doing some research if I were you. Don't continue a pattern that is causing turmoil. Change the pattern. Get professional help, if needed.
I think that is normal. He may just be slightly depressed. I would let him deal with it, and support him. Talk with him about his actions after he is out of one of his 'funks', and maybe talk with him about getting some medication to help his feel happy all the time.
I think you're worrying too much. He has the right to hold things to himself. I understand that you love him, but let him know that it's alright to keep things to himself.
He does have problems - either he is bi polar or something of that sort. Get him to a doctor. Everything will be better if you can get him to go.
Its not normal. Your boyfriend has some kind of issue. You can't fix it, and you need to stop enabling it.
Sounds like periodic clinical depression. He should see a psychiatrist.
There is a game going on here and you are both playing it. Now the first responder might be right that there is some depression with him. He needs to see a mental health professional to find out if that's going on. Unfortunately, most depressed men won't talk about it to anyone, including their wives or girlfriends. When you finally get tired of being on the other side of the world from him, you become distant and then he dances back to you to keep you close. This is a ridiculous pattern. Tell him you two need some couple counseling and don't take no for an answer. If he refuses, either live with him the way he is or end it.
Your boyfriend sounds clinically depressed, or he has some other mental illness such as bipolar disorder. I once dated somebody like that - when it was great, it was great - but he would ';cave up'; and basically not talk to me or answer his phone for weeks at a time, and I didn't know if he was dead or alive. He knew he was depressed - but refused to get help for it, because he did not like the idea of taking meds. I decided that this was not acceptable to me - it was like having a relationship with a trapdoor.





It probably has nothing to do with you, though you do sound a bit clingy and smothering, which could help make him feel worse, like he is letting you down. You don't really sound ';loving'; so much as kind of ';overpowering';/ I would dial back on the dream machine if I were you. You need to be a lot more independent - being in a relationship with someone who is depressed means you carry almost all the weight - and you may want to rethink whether you want to hang around for this, especially if he refuses to get help the way trapdoor man did.. You cannot force him to get help - but you can let him know that the way he is suffering (depression) is treatable, is easily treatable, and that his actions have an impact on both of you. There is no stigma for mental illness. Then see what he does, and make your choice based on that. You should also read up on the subject on the National Institutes of Mental Health website.