Sorry, she cannot ask the question herself because she does not write in English.What advice would you give to a 22 year old woman whose partner is confessing to crossdress ?
I'd tell her not to make any hasty decisions or judgements; to learn all she can about crossdressing, and to TALK to her partner, calmly and openly, about what it means to him, or her, and to their relationship.
There's some good basic information here;
http://www.pmpub.com/crossdressingFQA.ht鈥?/a>
which she might find useful.What advice would you give to a 22 year old woman whose partner is confessing to crossdress ?
Though I agree with Valerie in most of her explanations, I think there is a human element she leaves out with her neuroreceptor analogy. Most of us are born with the predisposition due to a hormone wash during gestation which makes it natural not a narcotic.
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By partner, I am assuming that they are married. This is no doubt quite a shock to her, and she has every right to be angry. Now she needs to step back and view the situation with this new information in hand.
The cross dressing can be very disturbing to a conservative minded person, and the fact that this has been withheld from her going into the marriaige is a terrible thing to do to someone you purport to love.
If her partner is sincerely sorry about the heartache and grief he has caused by not being upfront with her, then there may be room to salvage this relationship. If the crossdressing is the only flaw in an otherwise great relationship, then she must determine how large of a flaw this is. Is he kind, thoughtful, caring towards her and her feelings? Does he think about her first and show good instincts towards family life? If he's abusive and uncaring and has a few other fatal flaws, then this is just the straw that breaks the camels back
If he is the man she has always desired, then his mistake, not hers, was not trusting the woman he loves with his deepest, most raw secret.
She needs to learn about crossdressing (information, not exposure), what it is and what it is not. Then she needs to decide what level of exposure she is comfortable with and he needs to abide by that level. This is not negotiable at this point, he needs to be respectful of her and show her that he has earned the right, and she has become comfortable with his crossdressing to allow herself more exposure to it.
She may not want him to crossdress around her or thier kids (whether they have them now or later). She may allow him to dress when no one is around or just in the bedroom between the two of them.
This is NOT a slap to her beauty, or a complaint about her femininity. This is NOT her fault, but it is something that she must come to grips with. The man she loves, has a feminine side that he expresses through dressing. As long as he understands HER feelings and needs, this does not need to be a make or break situation.
Tell her that most crossdressers are straight heterosexual men with one little kink. Their brains are hard-wired such that it releases serotonin and other neurotransmitters when they crossdress. This gives them a sensation of well-being, pleasure, sexual gratification and self-identity. It also affects the reward center of their brains, so it mimics an addiction reaction.
Crossdressing can become a serious problem in a marriage. In order for the marriage to continue happily then the partners need to be prepared to make some compromises. They need to recognize each others needs. He has a need to crossdress, she has a need to be loved by a man. He has to recognize that she is the most important thing in his life. His wife is more important to him than his crossdressing habit.
She needs to prepare a list of rules that she can tolerate. He needs to understand that he needs to place limits on his crossdressing. She may insist that the crossdressing be kept private, not before friends, family or children. She may also insist that the crossdressing be kept out of their intimate times, after all it is a real turn-off for her. Other rules may include frequency, times, or styles, (nothing vile, sexy, or disgusting) keep it in good tastes. In any case, they need to work on the rules together and be prepared to make compromises. She should try to learn as much about crossdressing as she can. Where possible she should help him with his feminine style and look.
Tell her to take self-defense classes and learn to protect herself. Seriously, that's one of the best things ANY person can do... Cross-dressers are frequent targets of violence, so every little bit helps.
Other than that, give her a hug, tell her to stay strong and never give up on who she really, no matter what other people might say.
Good luck.
First of all, I would advise her to not view this as a ';problem'; that she needs to ';cope'; with. This is really an opportunity for her and her partner to become closer. It's very difficult for many men and women to ever truly be both ';friends'; and lovers. But the fact that her partner is a crossdresser gives them an opportunity to add an extra dimension to their relationship, with a mutual interest in apparel and possibly makeup, jewelry, etc.
Tell her to explore and enjoy.
to confess to cross-dress is believe that wrong thing (from religious view) shouldn't happen. Ask him if he thinks that your relation is a mistake which should stop. If so; it's your decision to break. otherwise don't worry
I think,,no big deal,, crossdressers are usually straight men,,so it doesn't mean he is gay or bi,,just means that somewhere in his mind of likes and dislikes ,,he enjoys things that are usually meant for women to wear,, if she loves him,, just go with it,, this isn't the dark ages,, let him express himself openly,,if she doesn't he will just hide it . What happens in private is no ones business. Tell her to try to have fun with it,,and maybe both will enjoy each others fantasies.
goodluck,,
There's nothing wrong with cross-dressing. It does not hurt anyone, it does not cause any harm. Why should she worry?
well being the crossdresser in the relationship, i can say that i have had no luck at all, any woman i have been with long enough to trust with that information has pretty much just freaked out, called me some nasty names and left. so my first advise would be to avoid doing any of those things. frankly i don't see why it is that big of a deal women crossdress all the time and nobody say squat to them. and it would seem to me that women would like a guy that likes to shop, and do other girly things. lastly most crossdressers are not gay we just like your clothes.
Tell your friend to look past the crossdressing, Think of why they were together in the first place. Does he still have the qualities that attracted her. Learn why he does it. I had a boyfrend who crossdressed, he was a good guy and could pass as an attractive woman. We had alot of fun. Plus its always nice to have someone around who can tell you how your makeup looks. Just remember he needs his fem time and your friend will need his manly time there needs to be balance
To begin with she should be flattered that he trusts her enough to tell her.
There are many reasons why a guy does this. It could be he gets a sexual thrill from it and would dress for sex.
It could be that being feminine is a release from the pressures of masculine life.
It can also be because there is more choice in female clothing and it feels good.
He may on the other hand be transgendered. If this is the case and he tells her then that is a different situation.
She needs to understand that there is often a transition period for guys who cross dress. The more they do it often the more they need to do it. Then going out will be the next stage. Not all men who dress as a girl in public are transgendered.
He may not understand why he wants to do it until he has been there.
It's harmless, and it's private. She should not be telling anyone about it, because that will only embarrass him. Tell her to get over it.
if she love him , its a samll thing
If her partner loves her, then he's probably just a transvestite.
The difference between a transvestite and a drag queen is orientation. He's probably just a transvestite and is nothing to worry about.
He's probably just enamored by all that is femanine.
I know it's weird, but it's really nothing to worry about.
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