Sunday, December 27, 2009

Relationship advice for ';plus sized'; women?

Go ahead %26amp; get your immature comments out of the way so you can get your thumbs-downs and move on with your life, ok?





Anyway, for those who are SERIOUS about answering the question instead of just making a rude and immature comment that you think is funny (which, btw, its not)





There are a couple of guys that I sort-of like, but I'm a VERY anti-social person... I have NO IDEA how to interact with people, and saying ';be yourself'; means me not talking at all while I read or write or type things, etc...





What advice can you give?





(And don't say ';just be confident'; because NOT ONLY is that not nearly specific enough, but it's not really helpful either.)Relationship advice for ';plus sized'; women?
You've got to start pushing yourself a bit and get out of your private little comfort zone. Take it one step at a time. It will feel weird and awkward at first but it will get easier.





Honestly it has nothing to do with being plus sized. Guys fall in love and marry bigger ladies all the time. For some guys being super skinny matters a lot but there are a lot of good guys that don't care so much about a girls size.





http://www.learnbodylanguage.org/female_鈥?/a>


Check out this website for tips on flirting and stuff. Scroll down past the google ads and there are lots of good articles that will help you learn how to attract guys. Body language is really, really important!!Relationship advice for ';plus sized'; women?
Find a guy your size. :) More to love.

Report Abuse



you need to change your negative attitude. look at life differently. no guy wants to be with a girl with a negative attitude, if you come off that way in real life that is a big issue

Report Abuse



';just be confident'; is the typical answer here, but - believe it or not, most guys are just as nervous/anti-social as you. So from a guys point of view- go pick the guy of your choosing, invite him to have a drink with you and talk some sports with him. Thats an ';easy'; area of conversation for a guy to feel relaxed. As for you, I'm sure you'll be at ease after seeing him at ease.


Good luck-
it is called love, love (true) has been known to take care of any problems-most of them anyway. i am a plus my wife is short a a plus, we have been doing it for almost 18 years. and there was once a 1 year breakup in between, but like i said it was and still is love, being a plus should not have to be a turn down, you plus or not are still a person of interest.
Im not exactly sure on what you mean in saying ';plus sized'; women. but heres my thought...





Everyone is there own individual person. Being liked for you is a major part in a relationship because it means not only being liked but being known and loved for being no one else.. but yourself.


If you learn to love yourself you will find that your not the only one..


Amongst time you will come out of yuor shell, and be more social but until that time all you can do is continue liking these people, cause they might just like you back..
I think you're just going to have to suck it up and talk to him. There's not much else you can do.





I know it's hard, but I'm sure you can muster up enough courage for at least a little bit.
personally i like larger women.you should understand that guys are just like you and get nervous to.talk to us just like you would anyone else.the more you do it the easier it gets.good luck babe.x
maybe workout, eat healthy, get some new makeup and a dress








we all get nervous dnt worry !
The best advice i could give you is when you see them just simply smile at them. Dont just look at them with a straight face.





Then DONT be yourself and hide away in a book... Step outside of yourself, simply smile at them and say hi.


(i dont know how old you are, if this is school or at work or whatever...). But if you are out of school (over 21) honesty goes a long ways.


Tell them that you've seen them before and you thought you better come up and just say hi. Be honest and say that normally you are really quiet and shy, but just something about them made you feel like you better break out of your shell for once. Most any guy i know would then start some kind of a conversation with you basically general chit chat. And before you leave you have to remember to ask them if they would like to get together sometime outside of ??? (wherever you are at).


****if you are in highschool then just walk up say hi, then evaluate the situation by how he answers you... say your name, and just tell him that you just wanted to meet him or something...keep it simple





Remember that most guys are nervous about meeting women as most women are about meeting guys....





Then see what they say... You have nothing to lose...nothing at all.











The reason you are anti-social is because you are insecure about yourself...which is totally alright. You just need to realize that not every guy likes one certain type of women... I know a couple of guys that ONLY date bigger girls...that is the type of woman they're attracted too.
Oh Goodness! Trust me, you arent alone. Every woman gets nervous about interacting with members of the opposite sex! I know that you say being confident doesnt help, but this is some advice that I took, and it worked wonderfully! I just think about what I look for in a guy.. and the main thing is that he is confident, able to share his opinion, and not scared of what other people may think of him! Being shy is a tough thing, I would know because it used to be a large problem of mine. Remember, if you meet a guy thats confident, then hes probably not for you anyway! Meeting a shy guy, youll have far more in common and will be able to relate to eachother. Parties and large social gatherings arent everyones thing, so its time that you retire to your local library, coffee shop or speed dating evening. And just remember, practice makes perfect. The more you interact with others, the more youll learn, and soon witty comments will be rolling off the tongue! Plus sized or not, every man defines his perfect woman in a different way, the classic 'stick' isnt everyones cup of tea.
Hello there,





I'd like to offer some advice. I'm a plus sized lady and I also suffer from anxiety and social phobias. Over the last 3 or 4 years I've had panic attacks brought on from social situations, I blush like mad and stammer when I talk to strangers and I would normally go out of my way not to be in a social situation. When things got so bad, I resorted to eating (and getting bigger) and chewing on my fingers (which my doctor diagnosed as Dermatophagia, a form of OCD brought on by anxiety). These days, I still suffer from anxiety and mild depression and I'm still a plus sized lady (getting smaller) but I am slowly getting better. Now that I've told you a little about my background, I'll start on the advice....





I know it's not what you want to hear but the key really IS to ';just be confident'; and ';be yourself';. Easier said than done, I know! And contrary to what you think, ';yourself'; probably isn't anti-social at all. You've been conditioned to believe this because of the anxieties you suffer.





My first step was to see my GP/Doctor and tell him how I was feeling. Through a variety of different methods (counselling, psychotherapy, anti anxiety medication and my own determination to succeed) I began to realise the source of my anxiety. So, my advice to you for step one is to figure out why you think you are ';anti-social'; and shy. Do you feel conscious because you are plus sized? Were you bullied as a child? There are so many reasons that could be at the root of your problems and you need to dig deep to find them. It's not a pleasent journey but the destination is surely worth it! Second to this you need to figure a way to fix it. Again, as much as I know it's hard to hear but you DO need to get out there and start mingling! It took me a long time to start doing this and I started with little steps such as when me and my partner went to a restaurant I would order the food rather than my partner and progressed from there. I found it easier to go places that I don't usually go, where nobody knows me and there is little chance of being recognised and set myself little tasks such as to ask directions, ask what time a train runs....use your imagination!





You need to change the way you think about yourself....instead of calling yourself antisocial and seeing that in a negative light - call yourself ';quiet'; and learn to see the advantages of that! A quiet person is much more likely to get what they want compared to somebody loud and brash. It's an altogether more likeable trait to be quiet and reserved rather than loud and bolshy! Turn your thoughts around this way for each of your anxieties.





Make sure you tell your friends and family what you're going through and ask them for their support and help. It really is easier when you don't go it alone!! Obviously, I don't know much about you but you may want to consider a trip to the doctors to ask for advice on shyness. I don't know how you feel about your weight also....there is nothing wrong with being plus sized and throughout my life I have learned to embrace my size, with time, patience and a lot of pain along the way. However, for health reasons I am currently dieting anf have thus far lost 7 stone and I still have a way to go. If you are happy with your body....GREAT....that's one step in the right direction but if you're not...there are options, you could ask your doctor for weight loss advice OR there are as many men out there that embrace plus sized women as much as we do! There are clubs dedicated to it. Search BBW on the web!





When you get to the stage that you feel you can talk to the guys you like, and you're probably going to hate me for saying this, JUST BE YOURSELF. It's not unusual to plan a conversation ahead of time (though don't fall in to the trap of scripting it and then over analysing it after the event - an awful habit of mine, I torture myself with ';oh no, did i say that?'; sometimes). Talk about your interests, find some common ground with the guy you like and go from there. There are many books and websites that give advice on how to have intelligent conversation and how to start conversations. Try researching the places that celebrate plus sized women, make eye contact with people and smile. It's gonna be hard at first...but stick with it!





I hope I helped at least a little. If you need any advice or support, just message me.

No comments:

Post a Comment