PLEASE HELP ME! what should I do? how should I feel? ALL MEN AND WOMEN! I need some advice.?

I don't know how many of you heard of the Wal Mart rapist in Ocean Springs Mississippi. But I just found out this morning through my mom, that it was my baby brother that did it. Now he's looking at time in prison. I never thought that my own brother would commit such and unspeakable crime. What do you do when your own brother does something you are so against? Should I hate him, love him, help him, abandon him, what? My grandmother says that it is ok to love him, but hate the thing he has done. I have been crying all morning and I am so confused about the whole thing. I can't believe my mom waited so long to tell me. I am sick, embarrassed, disgusted, confused, hurt, brokenhearted, angry, sad and the feelings continue. The paper said he held her at gun point. They forgot to mention that it was a pellet gun. not that it makes it any better. In no way will I ever tell you that what he did was right, because it was completely WRONG! He did a very bad thing. What would you do?PLEASE HELP ME! what should I do? how should I feel? ALL MEN AND WOMEN! I need some advice.?
Honey, I teach women against rape and my heart reaches out to you...I know you must be having a very hard time understanding your brothers actions...hopefully I can help you to understand the reasons a little more...


When a man rapes a women it is not a sexual act...it is an act of violence..they use sex as the tool for their power trip. when a man feels powerless, he feels he can only gain power by forcing another to comply to his demands. Most rapists do not realize the magnitude of what they are doing till it is too late.. Rapists have huge holes in their hearts and dont know how to fill them. In no way is it right to do it this way and yes it is horrible. But believe me he is paying and will pay for his sins...the horribley sad part that alot of people dont see is how it does effect the families involved...both sides of the familes gets raped too...like you. Raped of their emotions, their dignity, they have to deal with it weather they want to or not..no choice..rape. You can try to understand the rape...but the reasons are so vast to why the rapist gives into his perversions it is hard to understand...but you can understand the reasons behind his actions...which helps. I find it very interesting how when the rapist is caught he is usually a such a mess emotionally that they are harder on themselves than anyone and the common thread is that they hate themselves for various reasons..they KNOW what they did and yet they rarely ever think they will be caught..or exposed...when they are... they are more embarrased than anyone..the truth slaps them in the face and they will try to punish themselves more than the law or anyone else could...but this is only some of them..there are seveal kinds of rapists..some are glory seekers, some are just perverts, some are womenhaters, some are products of sexual abuse too...among others..we try to teach women about rapists, to try to show them how to spot which kind of rapist they are dealing with which could save their lives..some rapists are violent, some not...


Now...this time it is your brother...who has terribly sinned...and like I said he will pay dearly...that was his actions alone..but when you go before God, you will be held accountable for your actions...your brother had to have alot of pain going on in his heart to do such a wrecthed act to another human..why? You need to search his heart and in this.. help him...I know your hurt, I know your embarassed and humilated...but try to look at the reasons behind what he did and love him where he is at..your gramma is wise...dont love the sin...love the sinner..Jesus would not condemn him..so you dont..if you can talk to him and ask him why..tell him to help you to understand...let him know how you feel and what he did to all of you...when a man rapes a woman...it is his whole family who gets raped too...and hers...the people who have to deal with this feel responsible for it..the hardest thing we have to get over to the victims is that they didnt deserve it..or ask for it...you didnt deserve this..or ask for it...and you probably could not have prevented it..parents have to go thru the hell of thinking what could I have done.... you are going to have to deal with it on your own level..it is hard for me who has seen so many different horrible cases to say try to help your brother...but you should try to if you can...for the meer fact that he might not do it again if he gets help...this whole situation is far from easy..time will help, but you are the victim of a crime..your brothers crime..and you need to get past it...and again my heart goes out to you...it is very sad. I hope you can heal from this..remember that what other people think is none of your business..they dont know all the truth and even in a court of law if all the facts are not there..there is no case..so when they start talking...nip it in the bud..tell them to stop. It is none of their business anyway...if you do need to talk to someone I would be happy to try and help if I can..my prayers are with you...I hope this helps you to understand a little more...My prayers go out to your family..and your brother.PLEASE HELP ME! what should I do? how should I feel? ALL MEN AND WOMEN! I need some advice.?
Listen to your grandmother. She is right. There is nothing you can do to change anything. He committed the crime not you.
it is ok to love him but hate what he has done. there is really nothing for u to do, he committed a crime and he has to face the consequences.
As a sister of a child molester I know how you feel. I don't have contact my brother, I could never trust him around my kids anyway. Your feelings are legitimate and your Grandmother is a wise women. You don't have to put your feeling in a category, don't answer ?s about it yet till you know all about the case and follow your heart. GL
ur mom is right u hav to hate the things he's done but luv the person ik its hard i'm still tryin to do tht myself but u hav a right to feel all those things i don't think ur mother would tell u if she didn't think u culdn't handle it and she expects u to b brave so go for it'll take time but time helps good luck!
i agree with your grandmother and rowdy. your brother may be hating himself. he needs the love and support of his family. hopefully he gets some needed therapy and is able to turn his life around. God bless.
Dont hate him. Love him very much... u r right what he did was VERY wrong and now he is serving time for it right? the only thing u can do is talk to him and ask him why and maybe you can get passed this
you can love your family and hate their morals. it's ok to be ashamed for him. he did an awful thing, but the important thing is that you know it's bad no matter who committed the crime. who knows why ppl bad things?
Your grandmother gave you some very sage advice. You can love him but detest his crime. In Florida there was a woman who turned in her own brother for killing his girlfriend. She said that she loves him but she feels no sympathy for any consequences he endures. It takes mettle to do something like that. You and your family are definitely in my thoughts and prayers.
Do what your Grandmother said. That doesn't mean you need to still have any relationship with him. You definately need time to sort things out.


Sorry about the bad news. good luck and mahalo!
I think your grandmother said it to you right. Allow yourself some time to go through what must be some really conflicting emotions and try to remember the person your brother has always been to you. I feel so bad for you, but try your best to forgive, even if you can't understand.
the hard part is that yes he did the wrong thing . it is up to you if you still love him or say goodbye to him your grandmother brings up a good point when she says it is ok to love him and to hate what he has done. At this point it is not up to you to forgive him if that is what you are asking it is more for him to know that you are there to support and be there for him no matter what the outcome God Speed and good luck
Anything you feel for him is okay and you shouldnt worry what anyone else thinks. I cant imagine how hard of a time this is for your family and yourself. I will keep you in my thoughts!