Seriously... can i get a woman's advice?

I just got out of the joint after 5 years. I have 2 kids by two different women and the two of them hate each other. How can I get them to get along for the sake of my kids? I am no longer in a relationship with either of them so that makes it kinda hard. They are both mad because I didn't grow up sooner so my relationship with my kids is also compromised itself. Advice please?Seriously... can i get a woman's advice?
Maybe you should find the same thing that they can do just like painting, singing and anything. Just let them do anything altogether.Seriously... can i get a woman's advice?
Why do you want them to get along? Since you're no longer in a relationship with either of them it doesn't seem necessary to have to bring the others child around the other woman so what's the problem.





Just spend time with your kids and make sure they have a relationship with one another despite their moms not getting along, it's not the kids fault. You can try reasoning with the mothers and tell them that you won't bring them around the other mother but you want to get to know and spend time with their sibling. If they can't be understanding of that then try fighting for unsupervised visitations. That way you can do what you want with your kids.
Why do they have to get along? Your only concern should be with the children. They need to allow you to spend time developing a relationship with your children. If you have matured and decided that you are ready to be a positive influence and do what is right by your children. You can maintain the responsibility of ensuring that all children involved are aware and know each other. The children do need to develop a relationship with you as well as with one another. You can do that without them ( mothers) being involved if they are not mature enough to have communication with each other for the sake of the children. They will regret this later in life when the children are grown and begin asking questions. Such a shame! But you can get around this. Simply make time to have all of them with you! Schedule family time with yourself and all of your children.
Be honest and humble. Ask for their help to become a better father to both of your children. Apologize for not holding up your fair share, for failing them and the kids for so long. Let them know that you realize that the only thing you can do to make things the best they can be is to start doing the right thing from this point on. That you need their help. It's a start in a while once things have calmed down and become more routine, talk to them about finding a way to interact when they're in the same place for a family function or getting the kids together. Unless your not allowed to take your children away from their mothers, there's no real reason they need to see one another, except on the rare occasions for family celebrations.
At this point in your life the only thing you can do is make your kids future better. From this day on, do everything in your power to let both of them know that you will be there for them and support them financially and mentally. You can not change the past but you can control your destiny. I would not care if the kids mom does not like each other, that should not be an issue. The children is all that you should be concerned about.
You are going to have to start by PROVING you have ';grown up.'; And will have to have a sit down with each of these woman individually. They don't really have to get along but their children are 1/2 siblings and should have a relationship with each other. If you explain this in an adult way and perhaps you will have to ask for their forgiveness (i'm assuming that your incarceration, or whatever lead up to it hurt them both in some way) not to mention that you have been absent for 5 years from their children's lives they may hold some resentment. If you have truly changed and want to honestly build a healthy relationship with your kids you must start with their Moms. Best of luck to you.
The exes shouldn't have anything to say to each other so I'm not sure where the conflict would be there. If you go pick up your kids separately - the exes will never see each other...let them do all the hating they want to - just don't let them put any of it on you. If they try to bad mouth each other - stop them and change the subject. If they get upset - you tell them directly that you are trying to stay positive and focused on the kids and that you prefer to leave the hate out of that! It may take time - but they'll adjust and sooner or later the hate talk will come slowly to an end.





As for them being angry - yeah, you made a mistake (or several...depending) but it's time to ante up. That means you have to work twice as hard to keep yourself out of trouble, get a job (hey - you could even get some extra schooling, technical or otherwise! There are student loans available for that!) and keep up on your support payments and visitation. Sometimes in life - actions speak louder than words...





Good luck to you! Change is in your hands.
What you need to do is prove to them that you are a responsible adult now. And you are no longer who they think you are. Have you tried to talk to them individually to get them both to understand the importance of your children knowing each other,etc? They need to grow up! You are no longer with either one of them so this about the children not them. I wish you luck! And I applaud you for trying to correct your errors.
The Mom's don't have to get along. They both are individual people and you are no longer with either of them. Start by taking care of your kids. Prove that you have grown up and are ready to take on the responsibility of them. You can watch both at the same time and the ex's wouldn't have to know a thing about it. Your being a Daddy and taking care of them.
That may never be honestly so all you can do is stay out of it and focus on the kids...since you are not with either one your concern s that the woman that you choose to have in your life does not cause hell and havoc..honestly they have no commitment to anyone to get along and they don't have to..sometimes this is the price men pay for their choices and you all feel since you have cleaned up your act we should accept the baby mama...not so that is their right so if they choose to dislike one another then remember why and how the situation got this way you are the common denominator..so focus on getting you together and being a man for your kids..this is reality baby mama's normally don't click..it's just a part of the game
You need to speak to each of them separately and explain


that they have no reason to have animosity toward each other.





Tell each one flat out: It is not _________'s fault. It is my fault


that I could not be faithful. Holding a grudge against her only


hurts my child.





Hopefully, you will not sleep with either of them again, so there


will be no reason for either of them to keep the drama going.





As for your children, I would focus on getting a job, and spending


as much time with them as possible. They need to be with you


and with each other so that you all can bond.





Best wishes
I agree that family therapy might help, but it may be tough getting them both to participate. Why should they even be communicating, though? They're not raising your 2 kids together. I would appeal to them to at least be civil in each others presence, but you shouldn't have to expect much more than that.





Good for you for trying to improve your relationship with your kids and their respective mothers. It's not going to be easy, but it'll be worth it!





Good luck!
My advice to you is to sit down with these women one at a time and try to talk with them. If she starts to heat up and starts to yell don't feed into it just remain calm and that will help her to stay calm. Try to show them that you have grown up. If they dont want to hear it try to at least keep a good relationship with your kids.
why cant you just take both of your kids out to chucky cheese or something so they can spend time together and the moms dont have to be around each other there is nothing you can really do to make them get along just be sure to take both of your kids out together often so they can have a close relationship
feel sorry for you.but i think more patience and open conversation.you are the only one who can speak and make them understand the situation.just do your part as a father for your two kids.stop worrying about for your two ex-girlfriend maybe until now they can't accept that you are out of their life.i takes time just show them your sincerity and your willingness and it will be better soon.they will realized that.
Why do the two mothers have to get along? If you want the kids to spend time together, have them over at your house at the same time.
How about family therapy?